COFFEE AND CROSSROADS

Birthday Blues... and all sorts of Hues!

2008-06-16T18:25:00.001-07:00

Three years to go before I hit the road of 30's (aka. the peak of adulthood...hahahahah!). Of course, I have my own bias about being in that age range. I kind of dread the idea of it and I have no particular reason for it. It is one of those irrational fears I have.

Moving on to a lighter mood, birthday is still something I love to celebrate. It is the time to give thanks to God for all the wonderful blessings He had showered me over the years. In terms of materialistic standards, I am not in the best position. But somehow, when I look around and when I think of every single blessing (too many to count actually) I have, I still feel so lucky. God has been so wonderful too me that I can never thank him enough for His love.

Birthdays are times to reflect of what we have become. I believe that it helps to think back of our choices in the past. A year's worth of memory may not be possible but the ones that we remember (surely, those are also the ones that have the greatest impact in our lives) give us a good picture of how we have been molded as individuals. The events we have encountered, the people we have dealt with, and our choices or response to them contribute to our personality and lifestyle.

I have changed a lot myself. I have learned a lot of things that have made me so different from what I used to be. For the past year, I have particularly learned the value of my family. It is not only that I miss them a lot but also because they make me feel at home no matter how far they are from me when I talk with them. They give me a sense of belongingness. Also, I have learned to use money better. With all the odd jobs I have done, I realize that money is so important, yet, should not be the center of one's life. Money does not buy you happiness but needs to be managed well in order to survive a worldly life. Finally, I learned more about my personality and I now recognize the things that I should improve on.

Aside from being a time of reflection, birthdays are also for making wishes. I will not write what I would wish for because they say that wishes are meant to be kept to oneself (hehehhehe). I will whisper it to God. I claim that He will give it to me... in time.

It is Spring, at last!

2008-04-05T13:03:00.000-07:00

Spring symbolizes new life, new beginnings, new hope. After a very long (the last one was one of the longest in Toronto, I still see some traces of snow) winter, it feels great to feel the warmth of the sun and gentle spring breeze. To top it all, I don't have to wear a winter jacket! Haah, what a relief!

My mood is complemented by the "reconnection" I've made with some of my long lost friends and acquaintances. It feels wonderful despite the fact that the relationships have become so different from what they used to be. Of course, a lot of things can happen... changes can turn everything upside down. As for my case, I am satisfied that I found them again. It is always worth keeping good old friends. I just hope this revival of relationship will last.

Moving on to a different thought... I can't wait 'til summertime! This year, summer will be so special for me and Louie because we are going to visit our friends and family in the Philippines. It is funny because Misty and I have been doing the countdown for this trip. Setting all the excitement for summer aside, Spring is definitely a time to enjoy!

I'm back!

2008-03-13T20:36:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I last post something for myself (and about myself...hahaha). I have been so busy about with lot of things-- a lot of changes-- especially in the family.

For the past 3 or 4 weeks, I have been doing a lot of shopping and online searching. Louie and I are going home for the summer--for about a month. I miss the Philippines, especially my family. I am also looking forward to meeting my "other" family (in law). Finally, I will be traveling in Visayas region... I am really excited! I will be meeting new people, and seeing new places.

Speaking of places, I am planning to take my mom and sister on a trip to Malaysia and Singapore. A lot of people are asking me, "Why these places?" Well, I had always been fascinated by their culture when I was in university. In fact, part of my pre-practicum project was related to history, politics, and government of Singapore and its relationship to Malaysia. Gwen, one of my great friends, is also currently based in Singapore. I can't wait to see her! I originally planned to spending a week in Hongkong and Macau (and possibly some parts of China) but the time would be so limited. Besides, I feel that Hongkong is more affordable for my mom that she can go there on her own. Furthermore, we will have a stopover in Hongkong on our flight itinerary to Manila (morning to late night) that will give us time to explore some of the famous city's highlights.

I will definitely post some things regarding my trip with my hubby, mom, and sister. My other family (Louie's) is planning on a reunion since my sister in law (Ate Jane) from the UK is also coming home. She is eyeing on Boracay for the venue. Me? Heading for Boracay? Oh me, oh my... lalo na akong magmumukhang baluga neto! hahahahaha.... Well, don't get me wrong... I am definitely looking forward to this trip and I am hoping for its realization. If this goes through, Louie and I are going to be celebrating our anniversary in Boracay (hoping for a romantic escape!) I just dread the idea of too much heat, sun, and humidity---don't blame me, I had had enough of it in Quebec and Ontario last summer!

Enough of complaints--- because I will finally see some of my good friends. A lot of them are based in other countries now or have their own families, or have moved to far away places. At least there are few that I really want to see like Abba, Russ, Erna, Myra, Sarah, Arlene, Marvin, Toybits, Red Cross people, at ewan ko kung sino pa ang kakasya sa oras.

With my fingers crossed and a lot of prayers, I hope everything will turn out great!

Yeheey, me!!!!

2007-11-28T19:55:00.000-08:00

Hahaahha... sounds like an expression of "London Tipton, " a girl character (who is pretty, rich.. but dumb) in "Suite Life of Zack and Cody."

I feel good... I am rejoicing like a kid today because I haven't had coffee from Tim Hortons or Starbucks for the past 3 days! It may not sound much to you, but it is already an accomplishment for me. I love coffee... but it is getting addicting for me. What I do now is to use instant coffee and coffeemate in milk in the morning or when I get home using a small cup to make my reduction less abrupt. I realized the taste is not so bad at all! In fact, the flavor is very close to cafe mocha versions of my favorite coffee shops.

I also am substituting tea for coffee when I feel like I'd kill for a cup of coffee. At least I would not have to use creamer and sugar (since I want my tea plain)-- that will help me lose weight. I am also trying to eat more fruits and vegetables and less chips.

New Place, New Life

2007-11-25T21:36:00.001-08:00

We've finally moved in! Welcome to our new little haven... a small room that has a great view of the city. Although I feel more independent now, I also miss my aunt and her family. I guess I just have to face the fact that we already have our own (and sadly, separate) lives now. For me it means more freedom but more responsibilities as well. I don't like the fact that I have company in the house but all I can do for now is to make the most out of it.

2007-11-25T21:30:00.001-08:00

Photobucket Album

Fall Once More

2007-11-25T21:24:00.001-08:00

ONE RAINY DAY

2007-11-12T12:10:00.000-08:00

I didn't go to work today. The rain outside is freezing and so are my insides. I had a flu shot yesterday morning. At night, I started to chill a bit and warm at the same time--almost like having a fever.

I just stayed in my room the whole day doing my taxes and some paperwork. I just feel so stressed out with all the recent happenings in my life. Louie would like to move out of my aunt's place and they could not agree on something that they will be both happy. In the middle of this whole thing is ME. I don't want to think that my sickness is due to stress, not really the vaccine

They say it is impossible to please everybody-- I totally agree! It is true that I have the tendency to please my loved ones to the best of my abilities but it is becoming more and more clear to me now that I always have to choose. In the end, there is always someone who would have to give in, lose, or worse-- suffer.

Personally, I do want to move out. The only reason that I agreed on moving in with her family was her reaction to it. She would not talk to us! I can understand that she was hurt but I can't always be a part of the equation that will solve her problems. Besides, I also have my own issues in which she cannot do anything about. One thing that I learned in being away from my immediate family is the fact that nobody is really going to help you in times of trouble except for yourself and God. Of course, a lot of people have helped me in order to survive in this foreign country but in worst case scenario, it is just ME, MYSELF, AND I!

Moving out is not easy, mind you. For just the past 2 years I have moved in 7 houses already. It is difficult not only in terms of digging in for financial resources but also the physical and emotional stress that comes with it. And now, it feels more complicated because my aunt does not want us to move out. She said that she still needs our help and I can understand that. I just wished that she would understand that we also want to start living on our own. Independence means a lot to me. I feel bored with my life because I know that I am not maximizing my potential. It is sad to say that I can never start searching for myself again unless I move out. I just hope she'd understand.

Just some thoughts...

2007-09-24T19:55:00.000-07:00

I received a letter from my friend, Tuesday, today about her life as an international student in Czech Republic. I'm so happy because she is enjoying her new life in a new country. I am just so proud of her! She is a very good example of a dreamer who strives well to achieve her goals. Thanks for inspiring me, friend.

My HS Slogan: "Stand Tall, Stand Proud"

2007-09-17T19:42:00.000-07:00

Misty, my friend, resigned from work today. I feel sad about it, but glad at the same time. She did not like how her employer approached her about cellphone use. Sounds silly? Not really. She said it was a "big deal." I guess they were both in a wrong timing when she was confronted about it. Personally, I also believe that it is also about having a good working relationship with each other. What makes me feel glad, on the other hand, is her courage to face the consequences of her decisions.

I guess she is more courageous than me, and I am proud of her. I probably would not react in the same way because I tend to justify everything whenever possible. I guess there is one lesson to learn from her experience-- being able to stand to what you believe in.

We also talked about the similarities and differences between living abroad and in the Philippines. A lot of Filipinos back home would give anything just to get out of the country in the hope of finding a "greener pasture" somewhere else. The truth is, according to my observation, living here (in Canada) is not so much different from living back home. I guess it always depends on one's job and management of priorities. There will always be uncertainty and sacrifices to be made in order to achieve what you want. It is funny to say that people still complain about a lot of things despite what they have.

Thank you Lord for always providing all my (as well as my friends' and family's) needs. I am sorry that sometimes I forget to count my blessings. You are so good to me.

Asylum Act

2007-09-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

I feel so frustrated today. It is one of the days when you just want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not alone, that is for sure. Of course, people react differently to specific situations and deal with them according to their circumstances and personality. It gives me the sense that I am weak and hopeless. Haha... you'd say I am pathetic. This is not right.

I need to fight and hope. I need to believe and be patient. I need to think and strategize. I need to pray and be inspired. Ghee, this is not just about expressing what you want but also doing what needs to be done.

JOB HUNTING

2007-08-30T18:42:00.000-07:00

I feel like a fresh grad again. Believe it or not, I have not had a REAL work for the past one and a half year. Yeah, i have done some part time (and some are actually odd) jobs to partly fill my sched but that is about it. I just wanted to establish my relationships before I explore the real world. And I don't regret it. I have to say that I am now a happier person.

The real issue is my self-confidence. It suffered a lot! Does anyone know where I could buy some to replace what I lost? Hahahaha...

For the past few days, I have been contemplating on how to get back on track and how to revive my old self-- very confident, assertive, adventurous, and not afraid to fail at all! I strongly feel that what I am going through right now is just a stage. I am working on a plan right now... so wish me luck!

Long Weekends with my Family

2007-08-26T23:31:00.000-07:00

It is 3 am. I can't sleep. Don't worry, this is not because of coffee. I miss my family back home. I wonder what they are doing now. Hmmmm... I could almost smell Dhang's BBQ, sing along with Erick's guitar practices, and hear Kuy's funny remarks to annoy Maica. Today is a holiday in the Philippines, and it is just a perfect time to be with our families.

When I was still a kid, my parents always looked forward to these 'long weekends' because they mean going out of town. Back then, I and my siblings dreaded our trips because we wanted to spend our holidays with our friends. I remember we would sing our favorite tunes and spoil ourselves with unlimited supply of junk to enliven the long drive. I'm so glad our parents insisted because I would not have anything wonderful to recall now if they didn't. We usually had a good time in the end anyway. Now I understand how important great memories with one's family are. They give you a sense of belongingness and appreciation for the relationships that had been built.

As the old saying goes, "There is no place like home."

Coffee and Crossroads

2007-08-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

I am not a coffee addict.

COFFEE. I have three words to describe it--bitter, sweet, and therapeutic. Coffee has been a witness of my life since I was a kid. Believe it or not, I have been drinking coffee since preschool (as far as I remember!).

Coffee was part of my childhood. I grew up in a small village where farming used to be the main livelihood of most folks, including my grandparents. People usually start their mornings with coffee that came from different sources-- some are instant and some are homegrown. My favorite though was the one that my late great grandmother used to make for us. She makes it from burnt rice and molasses. Sometimes I wonder what made it so good-- is it its taste or the memory I have associated with it?

Coffee was definitely my best buddy during my student years. I was told coffee could make me stay up all night, so I usually had a PITCHER of coffee in the kitchen or dining room when I had to write school papers or stay up late for exams (yeah, you're right-- cramming!). Sadly, I suspect that this habit has made my stomach so sensitive. If you have the same habit, I suggest you stay away from it (unless you are like myself and some of my friends who can perform better when working under pressure). I have to admit that the issue wasn't really the coffee but my lack of discipline. Hehehehe...

Working in a call center definitely requires some sort of dependency on coffee (at least for most people I know), especially for those who are in the graveyard shift. I was never a fussy when it comes to the kind of coffee to have but my exposure to different brands of coffee during my call center years has changed my palate for it. Starbucks has won my preference until now.

I promised myself to stop drinking coffee when my doctor requested me to because of stomach acidity. I actually thought I had ulcer and Ranitidine was my bestfriend. I succeeded for a while... until I came to Canada. I find it inevitable to drink something hot in the cold and coffee fraps in hot summers (mind you, Canadians drink a lot of coffee relative to people in other parts of the world!). Yep, we're now together again! As they say, "Love (and for me it is coffee) is sweeter the second time around."

It is just so good that I can't live without it. Good thing I am now more cautious with my intake. Happy to say, my tummy has gotten better too!

Now, let me give you a rating of coffees I have tried.

My Faves:

Starbucks

Tim Hortons

Timothy's

My Least Like:

Country Style

Coffee Time

Mother Parkers